Hide the women.
Friday afternoon, about 4:30. There’s a DMV Express office near, well, my office, so I swing by to get my motorcycle endorsement.
"You’ve already taken the tests?" the woman at the counter asks.
"I completed the Team Oregon course," I reply.
"Oh." She takes my application, my current license and my Team Oregon completion card. $74 dollars, a quick vision test, a photo-that-actually-looks-like-me and 10 minutes later, I walk out with an 8-year motorcycle endorsement on my license.
The elf can now legally ride motorcycles. Be afraid. Be very afraid.