"This book is 854 pages long, and it still can’t define sex. Hopefully you will be able to define it on your own, or at least have a beautiful time trying. And always, try to remember that there are many dimensions to sex besides just huffing and puffing while the bedsprings squeak." — The Guide to Getting It On!, 5th edition, p. 792
A Book So Hot, Who the Hell Wants to Sit Down and Write a Review About It?
Please forgive me for the brevity of this review. After reading through a book as fun, funny and stimulating as The Guide to Getting It On!, it’s not that this review is short. It’s that the night is so long — and there are so many better things than typing to do with one’s time.
Yet Read & Review I Must, for I Am a Virgin… to The Guide!
For years I’ve heard about The Guide to Getting It On!, but had never read it myself. And sure, hearing about The Guide! was nice, but until you try it for yourself, you don’t know how amazing it really is.
Humor Is the Best Turn-on to Get You in Deep
Sex guides vary as much as sex itself. Some sex books are very matter-of-fact (think a lot of Dr. Ruth). Some are written in a deep, flowery prose-cum-poetry (The Kama Sutra). But of all the guides out there, I could chuck all of them and spend the rest of my… ahem, recreational life going solely by The Guide to Getting It On!
It’s not that The Guide! is an all-encompassing, encyclopedic page-turner (though it is). It’s not that it covers everything from kissing to kink, oral sex to what to do if you or your lover (or both) have a disability (though it does). It’s that The Guide! is so damn funny doing it, while also being so matter-of-fact that some of the best zingers nearly fly by you:
- "Define orgasm? It’s somewhere between a hand grenade and a sunset."
- "Romance is something thoughtful that you do for someone you love. It’s the Gorilla Glue that holds a relationship together. It’s lube for above the belt instead of below."
- "This chapter is about kissing on the upper body as opposed to kissing on the genitals, although one often leads to the other."
In Da Mood… Da Mood to Review
- Lights: Low
- Written Naked? Sorry, that information is limited access
- Music? Um, duh. What else do you listen to while reviewing The Guide to Getting It On!, but Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On? Duh. Honestly.
To review this book is pretty simple, really. The Guide! is for every lover and every person aspiring to be a lover. It’s for the couple looking for some spice — or just some affirmation — and for the yearning soul looking for a bit of theory in advance of some practice. If you have even the tiniest twinge of blushing interest in sex, this is the book you want to keep under the mattress.
Updated Info & New Chapters Covering the Fun, Embarrassment, and Challenges of Sex
You’ll find updated information — from the latest studies to the most lately thought-up one-liners — in your favorite chapters, along with new chapters dedicated to…
- Losing Your Virginity, p. 339
- Sex & Breast Cancer, p. 401
- Snoring & Gas, p. 429
- Good Sex After Bad — Rape & Abuse, p. 457
- The Horny Pill & Patch, p. 699
- And lots more!
- Title: The Guide to Getting It On!
- Author: Paul Joannides
- Publisher: Goofy Foot Press
- 5th edition, 2006
- Translated into 14 languages from Czech and Korean to Hebrew and U.K. English (and yes, I’m counting British English — at the least, they need to understand why we Yanks snicker when they ask to "borrow a rubber")
- ISBN: 1-885535-69-4
- Price (U.S.D.) $21.95
- 854 pages
- Publisher: Goofy Foot Press
"Cool As Hell" Tidbit for the Publishing, Mac and/or Typography Geeks
Wanna get your geek on before you get it on? Check out this Mac-only, foreplay-for-Mac-geeks publishing note in the front of the book:
"We are proud to announce that the Guide to Getting It On! is the first book in the country to go to press on a Mac Mini Intel Core Duo. Having been born on an SE-30, The Guide continues to thrive in an Apple Macintosh environment"
Get Your Copy of The Guide to Getting It On!
What are you waiting for, a nibble on the earlobe? If you want to get it on, then get on it: