The scared and excited of big changes

Jodie and Anthony are pregnant! Baby St. Clair is due Dec. 12, 2011
Jodie and Anthony are pregnant! Baby St. Clair is due Dec. 12, 2011

I’m at a loss this week.

Many changes are in the works. They are scary. They are exciting. Though more and more, in their purest forms I think “scary” and “exciting” are synonyms.

As I type this, it hits me that no wonder I’ve had trouble deciding what to blog about this week. This is it. So…

My career is changing.

To what degree, I don’t yet know. I’m working with my employer on some changes, but until it’s all done, well, it ain’t done. No matter what, it will be exciting… and scary. It’s all a matter of degree, depending on the next couple of weeks.

As of April I’ve been working remotely on a permanent basis, and that’s been great for my job and for me professionally. But that’s just the beginning, and it’s all I can really say now.

What I like about this though, is that no matter what, these are changes I’ve brought forward, win-wins for both me and where I work. No matter what shakes out, I know too that I’m being proactive, and I’m looking out for what’s best for me and my family, which is especially important since…

I’m going to be a father.

Not just a father — a dad. And I keep making sure that now and again I step back a minute from the rest of life to really, really absorb that. I step back from work and business, from finances and renovations, from editing and writing. I’m becoming a parent. I have no idea what all that entails, only that I’ll figure out most of it as I go. Hard to believe, too — Anthony, the dad.

Jodie and I haven’t had children yet; we were briefly pregnant in 2010, but miscarried in December. As of this writing we’re at 14 weeks. We feel very fortunate to have a healthy pregnancy so far, and we feel as ready as anyone can feel for children. Baby St. Clair is due Dec. 12, 2011!

And by Jodie’s side, I know I can do it. I’ll love my child, and teach them all I can. I’ll try to help them to learn all they can, and to see what’s there, what’s really there, no matter what.

I’ll help them come to know who they are, so they can be the best of that person.

Wowness.

Come December, a new dad. It’ll be exciting, and challenging. And I’ll love it.

Come these next weeks, there’ll be changes in my career, big steps forward.

I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m ready for some next big phases in my wee life.

Heh-heh. Can’t help but grin. Let’s get going and see what wowness is coming next…

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